Monthly Archives: December 2009

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An Oryx and a Zebra

I was reminded of Yann Martel’s “Life of Pi” and the concept of Zoomorphism when the first animals my daughter and I saw at the zoo were an oryx and a zebra standing side by side eating grass together. Zoomorphism is the concept of one species learning to see a member of another species as a part of its own or as a god. In the book he focuses on a lion seeing a dog as a mother figure, but his point is about a relational need. The lion cub needed a mother and the dog was willing. When I see these two animals sidling up to each other it’s inspiring. I wonder how their families feel about it? They occupy the same “savannah” so why not get along? Why not do more than get along, why not hang out? Maybe the two of them eating together will inspire the other animals to eat together too. At the very least the other animals will start to ask, “why are they hanging out?” If they ask that question maybe they will even try it.

What if the relational need is as simple as, “I want someone to spend time with?” Or I need a friend? Or, “we live in the same place why can’t we get along?” We live on the same planet, why can’t we get along? (you had to see that coming) Eventually you have to think it goes beyond just spending time together into a relationship of support, friendship, care, maybe even love (admittedly I may be reading a lot into an oryx and a zebra standing next to each other at the zoo, but often an image, a quote, a person inspires what it inspires regardless of what was actually there). For me every example set by those who are willing to see past differences is a good one and has that very potential to inspire. I have written about it before and I suppose I just get excited when I see it being lived out. It makes me wonder who the zebra is out there that I have never thought to stand with and it reminds me of how much simply standing together can do and how much more there is to learn by being together. I hope I never miss the chance to get to know those who are different from myself.
My daughter has a book called, “What if Zebras lost their stripes?” and it makes the case that even if they separated into some being black and some being white, “zebras are much to smart to let that come between them.” The story is told over and over again through things like this and the classic Dr. Seuss book “The Sneetches.” The fighting, the arguments the separations always seem silly when we’re through, but then we come back out of the story and into our lives the walls are still there. They are there and will be there until someone is willing to climb to the top and stand with someone from the other side of the wall for all to see so that the wall becomes a platform instead of a barrier. The walls are there until we are willing to look past it.
The oryx and the zebra give me hope that the walls won’t always be there and they remind me to climb up and to see beyond. Maybe it’s the zebras; I hope we can be as smart as the zebras.

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Fashion-a lesson in the superficial and why sometimes even the superficial is worth being intentional about

I must begin by saying that I do not presume to tell anyone how they should dress. When I was in High School I was chosen by my peers for the award, “most uniquely dressed” for wearing leisure suits and tuxedos on every Thursday and for a general flamboyance that I seem to have at least partially lost somewhere along way. I am not sure this qualifies me to talk about fashion, but for some reason I am feeling compelled to do so. I still have my own style, but I suppose that perhaps my creative energies have moved into other arenas. My point in writing this is not to judge anyone or say one thing is better than another, but to simply make note of the fact that clothes do make a statement that for me is more self reflective than it is something to be projected onto others. As with everything for me it comes down to intentionality.

My family was playing the game, “Imagine if…” on Thanksgiving(this is a game where everyone votes for the thing which most fits a person and the majority wins) and one of the cards directed at me was, “imagine if Darryn were an article of clothing, which would he be…” the options included: a tailored suit, a sports jersey, a thong bikini, Carhartts and work gloves, a grungy T-shirt and I think the last one was pajamas. The vote came out in favor of Sports Jersey with tailored suit as a considered second choice. The game is interesting so play with people who know you and sometimes even more interesting to play with people who don’t. This was a question about what type of clothes best express who I am and it made me think about how much your clothes can say about you. I have always been an athlete so I understood my family’s choice. It wasn’t about the things I actually wear, but rather about a personality that is conveyed by the clothes. Jerseys have a purpose and most of the time they are worn by athletes participating in a sport, but it is interesting to note that the sale of sports jerseys to the general public is a billion dollar business. This made me think about other articles of clothing that get worn in general, but which were created for a specific purpose.
The other day my daughter and I saw a woman in full equestrian gear. It made sense, since she was in fact riding a horse (though even in this case I am not sure it’s a look that works for everyone). My daughter liked the boots so later when we saw someone else wearing the same (or very similar) boots she pointed them out as “horse boots.” This second set of boots was being worn by someone who was not riding a horse so naturally my daughter asked, “where’s her horse?” A fair question given the circumstances. The person wearing them actually looked good in them and perhaps she does ride horses or should take up riding them, but the boots did seem out of place at the time. It made me think that, in a way, all clothes are like a uniform, they say something about who we are, what we are doing (or planning on doing), our faith (I don’t wear clergy collars as a fashion statement), formality and informality and all sorts of other things.

People spend a lot of money on clothes so that they can look a certain way. The other day I bought a shirt whose suggested retail price was $185. It’s a nice shirt and I like it a lot, but I wouldn’t even think about paying that much for a shirt, so it makes me curious about the people who do. It’s not about money or the ability to buy certain clothes, it’s about priority and choice. Why do you dress the way you do? What does it say about you? If you don’t care about how you look, do your clothes say that? Again it’s not about judgement for me, it’s about a form of expression. People should wear what they want to wear, what they feel good in and what makes sense to them. I get that we are sometimes limited by circumstance, appropriateness, affordability and other factors, but as someone who believes there is a reason for everything (though we rarely understand those reasons) I do think there is a lot of room for intentionality in what we wear. No matter how much you pay for something or how good it looks on someone else, if it isn’t you it isn’t you. I realize that clothes are superficial and just like you can’t judge a book by it’s cover you can’t judge a person by their clothes, but sometimes the superficial is all we show people, so I think it’s worth considering what image we show and what we want people to see. Like I said before if you want people to know that you don’t care what they think, you can say that by your choices, I just hope it’s what you mean.