As I rounded the corner about halfway through my run I caught a rare glimpse of another runner up ahead (I tend to run at odd times and in a year and a half I have seen another runner only perhaps ten times). They were running along the same path about a quarter mile ahead of me and instantly my competitive instinct kicked in and I found another gear as if this other runner and I were in some kind of race (which they clearly knew nothing about). In mere moments I had closed the distance by half and my heart rate actually slowed as if my whole being had fallen into a methodical rhythm when much to my chagrin the other runner turned off onto a side road and my exhilarating surge of adrenaline quickly subsided. Almost as quickly as it had started, just like that the chase was over and I was back to my solitary and contemplative run (which is actually what I prefer, but the thrill of trying to overtake a competitor certainly awakened something within me). I freely admit to my extremely competitive nature, but what struck me about this was that it was more reflex than thought. My body responded without any prompting from my thoughts and clearly my instinct was to catch anyone who was ahead of me. Running, like any endurance sport, is mostly mental. Like that fact that for me, no matter how hard I have run, something clicks in my mind and I always have to finish stronger than I started. Training is important, but being willing to hurt is more important and I believe that a personal expectation that you can win is what separates the good from the elite. I am by no means placing myself among the elite, but I do understand the mindset that is required.
The competitive fire of expectations
In life I believe it is the same. Being competitive is one thing, and from some perspectives it certainly is a component of achievement, but more than competitiveness I believe achievement takes the expectation that you can accomplish whatever you set out to do. In competition you have to believe you can win or you never will. In life even if the competition is with yourself (perhaps especially when it is) you have to believe, even expect that you can do something or you probably won’t. I am not saying it doesn’t happen that a person with very low expectations of themselves exceeds them, but that is the exception not the rule. My own personal expectations of myself are incredibly high and my own competition with those expectations is what drives me. My father (who I respect perhaps more than anyone else) once told me that my expectations are both my greatest flaw and my greatest attribute. I have to admit it felt good to know that my competitive fire still burns strong and though some may see it as arrogant I refuse to apologize for the expectations I hold for myself which push me to believe that anything is possible. The trick for me is to allow a change in expectations to be simply that. If you have high expectations sometimes you will fail, but every failure teaches us more about what we can do and we can choose to dwell on the failure or we can choose to adjust and to constantly seek our new goal. If we believe in ourselves we will tend to succeed more often than we fail and our failures will come to be seen as simply learnings along the path as we discover our true direction.
Tripping the Light Fantastic 