Monthly Archives: October 2010

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The Bond of Adventure

Any time you share an out of the ordinary experience with someone it bonds you. When you step outside of your everyday you create lasting memories and when they are shared the memory unites you. It is the legacy of camping trips, mission trips, vacations, explorations, delving into new things and places, experiences which form an anchor for a relationship. I remember vividly a trip with my two closest friends from childhood during the summer after our senior year of high school. We went to Portland and camped in my VW Van so we could watch the national team play soccer and along the way had some adventures for which there is no evidence other than our collective memory. As much as we can share of the trip with others, you simply had to be there. These types of experiences are a gift in life and I make it a mission for myself to seek them and to take the ones that God puts in front of me.

Six months ago I hiked up to Bridal Veil Falls with one daughter in a front pack and the other on my back. Along the way in addition to all the comments from other hikers about carrying two kids up a mountain, we met a seventy year old dad with his forty-two year old daughter. They were hiking the same trail that apparently they had hiked a number of times before since she was a kid. I couldn’t help but dream that forty years from now I am still going off on adventures like this with my daughters. When I was a kid we would go on summer long road trips, we spent time at our family cabin, we had memberships to the science center, we spent time doing things, and I am close to my parents in part because of all that. That hike six months ago was the first with both kids and I would like to think that it started something special. Today we went to another waterfall and it reminded me of that dad and his daughter and how important it is to me that I be intentional about these trips. It reminded me of that special bond that exists between dads and their daughters and the additional bond of shared adventures. Practically every week we find a new adventure to share as we see new things, tackle mountains, visit places that were special to me as a kid and eat treats we don’t have at home. It has been an interesting thing for me because I am a solitary adventurer most of the time or at least I was with very few exceptions. Somehow having the girls with me just seems like an extension of myself, like the me that goes on these adventures just got bigger when they came into my life. As they become more and more the individuals they will be I know that these early adventures will remain a part of them and I really do believe in the bond they create.

Years later I am still connected to those childhood friends (though not as much as I would like to be) and I just did the wedding of one of them this past summer. The thing is even if we don’t talk for a while the bond of all those shared experiences growing up from infancy (literally with those two) remains strong perhaps because it started so young. I guess I believe you are never to young to start sharing adventures and the bond that comes is worth whatever aching bones I may get from carrying two kids up mountains to see a waterfall. I hope that everyone finds ways to share in new things and new experiences with the people special to them because it makes special even more special.
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We need a cake

Today was my daughters first birthday and my older daughter decided that we needed a cake. We didn’t really celebrate and we hadn’t planned on doing anything because we just didn’t feel like she was ready for it. When my three year said, “we need a cake and we need the party hats from your office daddy,” it was hard to say no and I think it reminded me that even though she won’t remember and maybe she isn’t ready for cake, we have something to celebrate and we need to acknowledge it. I have always felt like first birthday parties are silly. I get that people have fun watching a one year old eat cake for the first time, rubbing it in their hair and making a fun and sticky mess, but it’s a ritual that doesn’t really resonate with me. What my three year old reminded me of though was that there are sacred conventions to our celebrations and cake at birthdays is one of them (I still think the hats are optional). At one she can’t really handle dairy much yet and most cakes have milk in them so we searched for a non-dairy cake and ended up with a lemon cake with lemon glaze. The batter and the glaze tasted good and it was fun making it with my three year old, but the funny part is that she fell asleep so we haven’t even tried it yet. Somehow making the cake made the day feel more like it was her birthday and we were acknowledging it more properly. Especially for this little girl making it to one is an accomplishment and we needed a cake. I am thankful for both my little girls who remind constantly of all that I have to celebrate. There are times when it just doesn’t feel right without a cake.