To be made both proud and humble doing the same thing on the same day is a wonderful learning opportunity. Out with my kids and my dad we ventured to the science center where they have all sorts of tests for your ability. They have tests for your balance, your reflexes, your hand-eye coordination, your sense of smell, and your flexibility. It was in this last that I was made both proud and humble. The chart above the test said that the average male of my age could sit and reach 12.5 inches so I sat down and gave it a try. You are supposed to average three attempts and mine came out at 21 inches so I was feeling pretty good about my flexibility. Later that night I tried out a new yoga routine on my DVR feeling very flexible before I started after my science center results. Just minutes into the flow I was asked to stretch in ways I do not stretch and to bend in ways that I do not bend and I wasn’t even close. It was actually an interesting moment of being humbled, challenged, frustrated and thoughtful about whether this was actually something I needed to work towards. I love a challenge so while a part of me feels a satisfaction that I continue to improve and very little desire to repeat that routine, another part of me says, “I guess I have a long way to go.”

To be made both proud and humble doing the same thing on the same day is a wonderful learning opportunity. Out with my kids and my dad we ventured to the science center where they have all sorts of tests for your ability. They have tests for your balance, your reflexes, your hand-eye coordination, your sense of smell, and your flexibility. It was in this last that I was made both proud and humble. The chart above the test said that the average male of my age could sit and reach 12.5 inches so I sat down and gave it a try. You’re supposed to average three attempts and mine came out at 21 inches so I was feeling pretty good about my nightly yoga and flexibility. Later that night I tried out a new yoga routine on my DVR feeling very flexible before I started. Just minutes in I was asked to do the splits in several different stances and I wasn’t even close. I can do backbends and I can balance and twist in all manner of positions, but this was a simple act of flexibility and I am just not there. It was actually an interesting moment of being humbled, challenged, frustrated and thoughtful about whether this was actually something I needed to work towards. I love a challenge so while a part of me feels satisfaction when I achieve something, another part of me is looking already for what the next challenge will be. I was feeling good that I am nearly twice as flexible as the average male my age, but just hours later I was reminded that I still have a long way to go.

I think it is really easy to rest on our laurels, especially when we have done something better than average or when some goal has been accomplished. The thing is though; we need to be reminded that there is more to be done. They say that true wisdom is knowing that you do not know everything. I guess my lessen in flexibility takes that further to say that no matter how much we have accomplished or how good we might be at something, we can always get better. It should never be about comparing ourselves to others like my reading of a chart that says I did well, it should be about motivating ourselves to do more, to do better. My make is not 9 inches better than average, it’s just 21 so next time I should want it to be more than 21. I choose to set a high bar for myself, but the real point is to set a bar at all and to understand that we must be humble or we risk frustration and giving up. We all need goals and we should never be afraid to set them high. Being reminded is a good thing as we can be both proud of how far we may have come and humble about how long the journey ahead still may be.

In Susan Vreeland’s collection of short stories “Life Studies” there is one story entitled, “Respond,” I don’t want to give away the story here because the whole collection is worth reading, but part of the lesson in this particular story has to do with our response or lack of response and how we can get lost in the things that weigh us down to the point that those are the only things we can still respond to. It’s more complicated than that and is focused as much on relationship as anything else, but it came to mind today as it relates to so many other responses we have. It’s easy to point to Pavlov and his dogs as we try to explain our conditioned responses to things, but often there is more to them than salivating to the ring of a bell. There is a case in California where the video game industry is fighting against a law banning the sale of video games with violent or sexually explicit content. I don’t really want to get into the free speech freedom of expression thing. Anyway I was more interested in the studies about how these games desensitize people to violence or go even further and actually make people more violent. I remember about ten years ago a study on violence caused by song lyrics which talked about killing cops and other things. I guess I just have to wonder when we stopped learning to think and became so influenced by even the unrelated that we are conditioned to act out against our better judgement (or I suppose the point is that we no longer have our better judgement). This wasn’t where i was initially going with this, but my overall point is, “what happened to the thoughtful response?” instead of thinking through things we have already had our responses ingrained in us to certain things, so if it is like that thing, we respond accordingly regardless of what’s really going on or the chance that it might be different. To not respond is a response, and can even be the most thoughtful one. I guess I am hoping we can break free from whatever it is that constrains us, what distracts us, what seems like we are supposed to do, and actually respond to the world with deep care and thought. I hope this whether we are responding to the tragedy of war or some global disaster, or the sometimes nearly equal disaster of a child’s skinned knee. I hope we don’t just respond, but rather we make a response.